Many couples in Brisbane struggle with a surprising challenge: feeling more comfortable sharing their thoughts with friends than their partner. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. While opening up to friends can feel natural, vulnerability with a partner can sometimes feel difficult or near impossible.
The Gottman Method provides practical solutions to bridge this communication gap.
Do you ever feel like your friends “just get you” in a way your partner doesn’t? With friends, you might feel heard, understood, and supported without judgement. Whether it’s a simple “that sounds hard” or a gentle challenge offered with love, their responses create a safe space for your emotions. They listen first, offer advice second, and leave you feeling validated.
But with your partner, it might feel different. Conversations can quickly spiral into misunderstandings or even conflict. You might worry they’ll judge you, dismiss your feelings, or rush to solve the problem instead of hearing you out. Over time, this can lead to relying on friends for emotional support while your partner becomes less involved in your inner world.
First, understand why this dynamic exists. You might fear judgement, conflict, or feeling unheard in your relationship. This fear can create a cycle of avoidance, making meaningful conversations even harder. The good news is that with the right tools, you can transform your relationship into a safe haven for open dialogue. The Gottman's talk about building fondness and admiration, approaching conversations with a softer start up, and listening to understand.
Rebuild Trust Through Appreciation
Start by acknowledging the good in your partner. Catch your partner 'doing something right'. Regularly share what you appreciate about them. A simple, heartfelt compliment can set the stage for more open communication.
Try a "Softer Start Up": Approach conversations with gentleness and focus on your feelings instead of blaming. For instance, say, “I feel overwhelmed and need your support,” instead of, “You never help me.”
Practice listening to understand, rather than listening to respond: Commit to really hearing each other. Summarize what your partner shares and validate their emotions. You don't even necessarily have to agree, but make an attempt to tune into the feelings.
If communication with your partner feels like a constant struggle, couples counselling can help. At Brisbane Couples Counselling, we use the Gottman Method to equip couples with proven strategies for deeper, more meaningful connections.
Ready to reconnect? Call Brisbane Couples Counselling at 3876 2100 or email us at info@brisbanecouplescounselling.com to book your session today. Don’t let unresolved communication barriers hold your relationship back.
Comments