Talking Won’t Help? Why couples therapy isn’t just talking

I’m in a footy tipping comp with my family at the moment — currently second on the ladder, thank you very much! While I’d love to claim it’s my expert knowledge, it’s really an absolute fluke.

But it got me thinking about coaching, training, and something clicked for me about what couples therapy actually is — and what it has in common with good coaching.

Okay... hear me out...

Let’s be honest — when you hear the word “therapy,” it probably doesn’t sound like something that actually fixes anything. You might picture sitting on a couch for an hour while someone asks, “How does that make you feel?” and meanwhile you’re thinking, “Mate, talking about it isn’t going to change what’s wrong.”

I get it. A lot of people feel that way.

But here’s the thing — good couples therapy isn’t just sitting around talking in circles.

It’s more like getting a coach in when the team’s struggling. You don’t just chat about last weekend’s game — you figure out where you’re stuffing up, what needs fixing, what’s going well, and you get a solid plan to actually win again.

Imagine if a football coach just asked players how they felt about the last game and left it at that. No drills, no strategy, no game playback — just a bit of talking. How would the team improve? They wouldn’t. They’d keep losing.

Good coaching isn’t just talking — it’s analysing what’s working, what’s not, and then building real skills to change the outcome.

That’s what I do with couples.

It’s structured. It’s practical. It’s about getting unstuck and moving forward.

And here’s a big one:

If you’re worried therapy is just going to be a session where you get blamed for everything — it’s not. That’s not how I roll.

I'm not here to pick sides. I’m here to back both of you, help you figure out what’s really going on underneath the blow-ups, and get your relationship working properly again.

If you’re the kind of person who’d rather fix something properly than keep patching it up — therapy might actually be exactly what you need.

Keen to find out more? Check out my FAQ page or shoot me an email at info@brisbanecouplescounselling.com. All emails come directly to me, and I’ll personally respond within 24 hours.